12 Drummers Drumming!

So I guess I should address the fact that another holiday has come and gone. Christmas, Hanukah, Kwanza, Winter Solstice, or even your birthday...whatever it is you've spent the last week celebrating, Happy that to you! Personally I celebrate the season as a whole. It's a big excuse that we all need. It's an excuse to see co-workers outside the office, to visit the family you've avoided since Thanksgiving, or to laugh with the friends you always do. It's an excuse to take the pictures that will pinpoint your memories, and to get that gift that you'll never buy for yourself. It's an excuse to take off from work and a reason to wear green pants. It's an excuse to tell that person you love them, that you've missed them. It's an excuse to be happy.


This year however, despite all the excuses I used, I felt as though I never got holidayed. The anticipation kind of skipped over me somewhere along the way. And though I would consider this year to have been unmemorable, it did strike a cord with my past...

When I was in 8th grade, I performed in the 12 days of Christmas as a drummer. I remember thinking how much it sucked because I had such little stage time. In case you're not familiar, the "true love" doesn't show up with the marching band until day 12. So to make up for our lack of part, the teachers let us stay standing after the song was over and hold our sticks in the air. While we did this, everyone else would collapse to the floor overdramatically becasue they'd been performing for so long (in particularly the pear tree). It really didn't do much for us except make it even more obvious how small our roles were. The curtain would still close within seconds, and the drummers were no more remembered than they had been. I kind of felt like Christmas was like that this year, barely there. Like it didn't even matter. In fact, it felt so passive, that I may as well been off stage waiting to premier the 13 bloggers blogging.

I've come to terms with three main reasons for this lost holiday:

1. School had me taking finals less than a week before Christmas day (and the Marist bubble allows for limited holiday hype).

2. I have no money, and thus gift giving resorted to signing my name as a co-giver on the bottoms of various cards.

and

3. (SPOILER ALERT!) I'm in limbo. I don't believe in Santa and I'm far from playing "Santa." In other words, I don't get much and I can't give much.


So then what was this week for me? After looking back on it, I've reached a consensus with my jumbled opinions. It has something to do with that last excuse, the be happy one. Maybe it wasn't the highlight of my year, or even my month, but I was happy. I was happy with my family, especially the people I only see twice a year (if not for the holidays, many of them could easily slip away completely). And I was happy seeing a movie with my friends, like we always do, if only to escape our families. Right now, this week seemed no more special than the last. But in the long run, I know it's these minor traditions that help us count the years, and even more so, count the people we pass them with.

Whether you get "holidayed" or not, December 25th will still roll around, Hanukah will still last 8 days, winter will start, and the year will end. It's kind of like my drummer days. You can't have the twelve days of Christmas without the 12 drummers drumming. They are essential to the song despite their brief life span. Suddenly my part doesn't seem so meaningless, no matter how fast it went, because it still happened; it had to happen. It was an excuse to be happy, as short-lived as it was. And that happy, helped me remember that year. There's a VHS somewhere with a label reading "Christmas Pageant 2000." And for ten seconds on that tape I make sure that label means exactly what it says.



If nothing else, I hope you had a Happy Holiday.