Educated.

I'm pretty embarrassed to not have followed through with my word. Nevertheless, I'm here. Whether you take it for true or not, I'll say that time, or lack thereof, was the reason I've been so far from these wet socks. A few things that have been on my mind...

Sunday May 3rd, 2009

I ran my creativity dry with that date in mind. I stayed up all hours of the night, made 10 incredible friends, and produced material I had no idea I was capable of. I didn't wait for May 3rd, I worked for it.

When I came back from Athens last year, my priorities took a spin. I was no longer the career driven student I had defined myself as. In fact, I lacked definition of any kind. "Student" became a minor piece of this huge puzzle, and life was a whole lot more than a career. I spent the greater portion of 2008, contemplating what my future would entail. It used to be "advertising copywriter extraordinaire - go big or go home." But that title sort of lost its polish somewhere over the Atlantic.

In the last few months, I've been forced to work toward that title whether I liked it or not. I had to graduate, didn't I? And for the first time in nearly a year, I felt career driven again. Not in the over-the-top, melodramatic way I had been, but nevertheless driven. I had a goal. I wanted something. Badly. And I was having the time of my life earning it. I poured my energy into a campaign. But it was everything else...the people, the laughs, the work, the outcome...that really brought me back to an equilibrium. I still want to see the world, defy normality and save love, but now I know the reality of it - you do have to make a living somehow, and so pick a path you love with people that make you smile.

SO...May 3rd. It was competition day. It was every human emotion thrown into a martini shaker. We nailed it. It was everything we wanted to say, the way we wanted to say it. As the day progressed, we grew more and more confident, in disbelief that our campaign might actually win.

It's amazing how hard the blow feels, when all that energy falls flat.

In short, we took a risk that wasn't well received. Yet I'm glad to have lost for having taken that risk and not because we simply didn't measure up. That said, it's still hard not to let it get to you. The train tracks never seemed to reach Poughkeepsie that night...

Today was my last day of classes. I'm not really sure what to do with that little fact. Delete? Na. I'm okay with it. I have to be. I did a Shakespeare reading and later workshopped a screenplay. Two things that, in my opinion, scream college education. Pretty cool.

In my immediate line of vision I see this:
MAD magazine, deodorant, duck tape, a solo cup, a straw hat, a 1970s orange swivel chair, a cowboy lamp, a Greek postcard, a running shoe, a ticket stub, a toaster, toothbrush, suitcase, and the word "hope" scribbled on my wall.

The window is open and Christmas lights are crawling along the sill.

This is my college. This is me, educated.