Call Me Jim Parker

It's become evident that I am in fact leading a double life. It's day 3 of my internship, and I must say that life is completely different up here on the 33rd floor of 1540 Times Square; different from the residential college life of a comparingly barren city in upstate New York. I love it. It's my other side, the mysterious one. And as for my co-workers, well they're left wondering who I am as a college kid. It's a fun duality. Those fools in Poughkeepsie have no idea what I become between 10 and 6, Wednesdays and Fridays. It may not be fighting the underground crime scene of Gotham City, but it does entail cubicles, keyboards, and Microsoft Outlook (all of which can be used as weapons in their own right). And though I don't interact with damsels in distress, I do find myself in equally uncomfortable situations near the copy center. I like to think of myself as a cross between Jim Halpert and Peter Parker. I guess you can call me Jim Parker - the office spider. Just a suggestion.

In the event you do buy into my alter ego, I guess I should finish coloring this comic. Before the sun rose, I departed Poughkeepsie via the Metro-North Railroad (equivalent to superman in a phone booth). I was accompanied by Terah (essentially that friend who is dangerously on the cusp of seeing you as the other you), and was careful not to break into the glitz of Times Square until I had lost her underground. Finally we have my supervisor (the mentoring butler, if you will). She knows the office better than anyone else and when there's a problem, she assigns me to copy and fax it. It's a wonderful little world I have up here for myself. I'll be back in Poughkeepsie after sundown, and my friends will have no idea how many paper cuts I've dodged.

Okay, so the alter ego may not be as dastardly or dashing as the resume requires, but it's still an alter ego to me. Ironically, rather than morphing out of the everyday and into the surreal, I'm doing the opposite. My normal is an unrealistic college bubble of bliss, but on Wednesdays and Fridays I transform into Office Spider - the monotonous intern in cubicle 3A. It's like Batman turning into Bruce Wayne. However, wouldn't one assume Batman doesn't want to be the tedious Bruce Wayne? He's already living the incredible life, why transform? This is exactly where I am. I get these few days a week to preview the outside world - the monotonous one. And for what? Just to prove how much better a dorm room is than a cubicle? Turns out...no. There's a lot to look forward to in the real world. And I'm not just saying that because I work at MTV and not some paper supply company. There's a lot to be learned, and a lot to live. A lot of independence that I'm more than ready for. And the mission isn't to fall into the grind - it's to break out of it; fight the crime of settling for less.

Excuse me while I shatter this window and save the world.

Office Spider gone.